Breaking Up is Hard to Do: When to Call It Quits

“It’s better to burn out than to fade away.” – Neil Young

Climbing to the pinnacle requires effort, talent, and endurance.  But what happens after success has been achieved?  After decades of adoration, what’s the best way to leave the stage and say goodbye?  The Who recently announced (yet another) farewell tour – this one being the final, final show (pinky-swear promise). However, The Who have announced a “farewell” tour several times in the past, going back as far as the 80s. “I don’t think that the big boomer bands are going to be able to do this (touring) much longer.  I really don’t. I wouldn’t pay money to go see the Who,” Pete told Rolling Stone …in 2006.

Their farewell event has been somewhat darkened by their messy public break from longtime drummer Zak Starkey (fired, rehired, fired again in just a couple of weeks). Pete Townshend said, “All good things must come to an end.”  He’s right about that.

Elton John took almost 5 years to say farewell and end touring (in fairness, COVID interrupted his tour plans).  Grace Slick (who just turned 85) famously once said that rockers over 50 look ridiculous on stage.

The Rolling Stones are still slogging it out.  But for how many more years? For some groups, performing live is only what matters, and they endure, for better or worse.

The Grateful Dead continues to this day, albeit in a greatly reduced form.  From 1965 to 1995, they were The Grateful Dead. They morphed into The Dead, then named themselves Further, and then switched to The Other Ones, then back to The Dead. To this day, they continue their “long strange trip.”

Some careers were not destined for longevity. The “Day the Music Died” ended the life of Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and The Big Bopper on February 3, 1959.   Otis Redding died in a plane crash 1967 at the age of 26.  Drugs and booze took the lives of others; Jim Morrison was right about “no one here gets out alive.”

The Doors didn’t have the chance to plan their farewell; they were simply gone. Led Zeppelin pulled the plug after the unexpected death of drummer John Bonham. Nirvana ended when Kurt Cobain took his own life.

So how do you end a successful career under your terms?  In 1978, The Police started their run, making it from small stages to Shea Stadium. They called it quits in 1983, but later reunited for one more go.  It was a reconciliation that Sting engineered.  He made it clear it was a one-off tour – and it was.

Another band that ended on their own terms is The Jam. Paul Weller decided to definitively break up the band in 1982. In 2025, Spenwood Books published Solid Bond In Your Heart – A People’s History of The Jam, which is filled with fans’ memories. Sadly, though, fans recall being “gutted” at hearing the news that Weller was ending the band.  Apparently, so did Jam members Bruce Foxton and Rick Buckler, who were reportedly caught off guard.

Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Bob Dylan, and Paul Simon are still out there. In their 80s, these icons are delighting fans, even if their performances are understandably touched by age.  When’s the right time for them to leave the spotlight? It’s a tricky question: they clearly enjoy performing, and we’re lucky to still have them. But when their performance becomes a bit painful to hear…then what?  This is a hard question for our generation.

The good news is, we can keep the memories of our favorite artists.   Music’s unique magic is recorded for us to appreciate.  Steven D. Stark wrote in his book, Meet The Beatles:  A Cultural History of the Band That Shook Youth, Gender, and the World, “Their muse was music…and unlike, say, the movies, is internalized in a way impossible with other genres.”

We can appreciate what was, but we cannot relive those times.

-Vincent Maganzini

Photo: Paul Simon (Getty)