Hear

The Guilty Pleasures of Hair Metal

80s hair metal

In music, the 80s were a time of creativity and neon-soaked fun. For better or worse, MTV was driving the bus with acts that were as much focused on their video “look” as they were on their music. Sometimes it worked (Madonna), sometimes it didn’t (Taco). And that video focus drove a genre of rock that became known as Hair Metal.

Hair Metal was hard rock identified as much by oversized ‘dos and Guy Liner as it was crunching guitar riffs. I admit that I went through my fair share of hair products in the 80s, but those Hair Metal guys? We’re talking gross tonnage.

Despite some bands with great hooks (see: Bon Jovi, Motley Crue) Hair Metal was often something of a joke (see: Europe’s “The Final Countdown”). In 1988, director Penelope Spheeris did a fantastic documentary on the 80s metal scene in L.A., The Decline and Fall of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years. It showcased then-rising stars like Poison, established stars like (a very confused) Ozzy Osbourne, and struggling acts determined to live the 80s Hair Metal Dream.

 

Pick any random Hair Metal video from the era and there are some elements you can pretty much count on:

-The drummer will invariably spin his drumsticks, often with a look of open-mouthed excitement.

-At least one of the girls dancing in the background will be in a pair of thigh-high stockings.

-There will be lots – and lots – of flipping of hair. Some of those guys likely needed a chiropractor on set.

-And when any Hair Metal group did a ballad? Expect it to be largely unbearable (case in point: Firehouse/“Love of A Lifetime” or White Lion’s “When The Children Cry.” Yes, these two were hits, but still…unbearable).

I excuse Slaughter’s “Fly to The Angels” from this particular judgment and will not be taking further questions.

Of the more prominent 80s Hair Metal Bands some were visually annoying but pretty good musically (#hooks). In this category, I’d include the following:

Cinderella

Singer Tom Keifer has a love of blues, a talent for the Les Paul, and a raspy growl well-suited to the format. Jon Bon Jovi was impressed enough to get his own manager to sign the Philly band

Great White

I give these guys a partial pass, largely for having the good taste to cover Ian Hunter’s “Once Bitten, Twice Shy” (even with the standard issue Video Bunnies).

 

Winger

Simmer down, I suspect I know what you’re thinking. But Kip Winger has a background in serious classical music (he even scored a ballet). Perhaps that accounts for the pretty meaty hooks he came up with during the band’s heyday.

 

Whitesnake

I’m conflicted on this one. Yes, they were over the top in the amount of hair, leather, and rock star preening. Plus, Tawny Kitaen rolling around on the hood of a Jaguar pretty much made her the MVP of Metal Vixens.

 

But aside from that, David Coverdale had a “serious” career as a lead singer for Deep Purple, so he can be forgiven for his faux Robert Plant act in this group. Hell, even Jimmy Page later enlisted him in his Coverdale/Page project.

In the end, Hair Metal is a little bit ridiculous but for many, remains a guilty pleasure. About ten years ago, I ran into Sebastian Bach of Skid Row while we were both on the TSA line at Newark Airport. I admit that I gushed, just a wee bit.

Fortunately, I’d left my thigh-highs at home.

-Cindy Grogan

Photo: Motley Crue (Getty)

 

3 comments on “The Guilty Pleasures of Hair Metal

  1. Ellen Fagan

    What a fabulous, witty piece!! Brava, Cindy. I am not a hair metal chick by ANY stretch, but have enjoyed some tasty riffs, hooks & many of their self-consciously debauched stories. Guilt-free! 🙂

  2. Thanks, Ellen. Yes, it wasn’t my primary thing either — but it was kind of hard to get away from, and some of it was fun to listen to!

  3. Thanks, Ellen! Yeah, it’s cheesy fun.

Leave a Reply (and please be kind!)

Love the Beatles? Get this eBook FREE when you subscribe.

It turns out there's a lot to say. Just say "yes" to get yours.