Unintentionally Ironic Wedding Songs

Newly-wedded couples choosing their first dance number has long been a component of the nuptials, a public declaration of the couple’s love. These are generally elegant, romantic songs: back in the day, common choices would be Cole Porter tunes and old-school love songs by Etta James, Frank Sinatra, and Elvis. Other cheese-free odes to married love are tracks like The Righteous Brothers’ “Unchained Melody” and James Taylor’s “How Sweet It Is.” The goal is to honor their marital bliss.

So, it’s amusing when songs completely miss the mark. Pro Tip: Listen to all the lyrics before committing to that first dance. Here are some examples of great songs that would be better played anywhere but on a wedding dance floor.

Percy Sledge’s “When a Man Loves a Woman” (1966)

 No one would deny that Sledge’s best-loved track is a masterpiece, topping both the Billboard Hot 100 and R&B Singles charts in 1966. It became the first #1 hit to emerge from Alabama’s Muscle Shoals Studios, firming up that studio’s rep and becoming an example of the iconic Muscle Shoals sound. Percy Sledge’s preternaturally soulful voice pays homage to his eternal love for a woman. But the bleakness of his situation can’t be denied:

“When a man loves a woman

Deep down in his soul

She can bring him such misery

If she is playing him for a fool

He’s the last one to know

Loving eyes can never see.”

Achingly beautiful? Without a doubt. But a dubious choice for a wedding song.

Dolly Parton’s “I Will Always Love You” (1974) 

An undisputed classic for Parton and an even more successful 1992 cover for Whitney Houston in The Bodyguard. Despite the title, it’s a platonic break-up song by Parton to her mentor, country star Porter Wagoner. He helped jumpstart her career, but in 1973, she parted ways with him. Wagoner was hurt by Parton’s decision to go solo. She composed this lovely farewell song so he would better understand her appreciation of his mentorship. It brought Wagoner to tears, who deemed it “the prettiest song I ever heard.” Whitney Houston’s iconic rendition became her best-selling track. Kudos to “I Will Always Love You,” but it’s utterly out of context for a wedding.

Earth, Wind & Fire’s “Reasons” (1975)

Earth, Wind & Fire are crowd-pleasers, with their fabulous harmonies, horn section, and polished energy. They’re a sure bet to get people on the dance floor. Still, “Reasons” (from their album That’s the Way of the World) is a quirky wedding dance choice. An ode to the fleeting one-night encounters the band experienced on the road, “Reasons” was written by Maurice White, Verdine White, and Charles Stepney, and features Philip Bailey’s falsetto. Bailey remains baffled by its popularity as a wedding song, telling Entertainment Weekly, “The song is…about a one-night stand. Me and Maurice were talking about the on-the-road life, what was going on at that time, being young men. It’s totally lust for the moment. It’s a screw record.”

Eric Clapton’s “Wonderful Tonight” (1977)

This wedding dance standard celebrates a committed couple. Included on Clapton’s 1977 Slowhand album, the lovely “Wonderful Tonight” was inspired by an incident with his girlfriend (and eventual wife) Pattie Boyd, after she and George Harrison divorced. They were readying themselves for Paul and Linda McCartney’s annual Buddy Holly party, and Boyd was frantically trying on dresses while he stoically waited for her. Clapton keeps reassuring insecure Pattie that she looks “wonderful tonight.” She wraps up their evening, tending to the likely intoxicated Eric, and gets him safely into bed; he thanks her for being “wonderful tonight.”

There’s a genuine tenderness in this captured vignette, but it’s more about Boyd’s slow start to the evening and Clapton’s collapse at its end. Boyd alludes to this song in her 2007 memoir, Wonderful Today, as a sweet frozen memory, mostly because of the painful way in which things concluded for them. Hardly a love story for eternity.

The Police’s “Every Breath You Take” (1983)

 There’s irony to this huge hit from The Police’s Synchronicity LP (a Grammy winner in 1984 for “Song of the Year”) as a wedding dance. Yes, the smooth vocals and lush instrumentation appear potentially romantic. But “Every Breath You Take” is, in Sting’s own words, “…a nasty little song, really rather evil. It’s about jealousy and surveillance and ownership.” Written after separating from his first wife, the stalker-centric “Every Breath You Take” is infused with bitterness. Still a spectacular track, it’s wildly misguided for a wedding dance.

Sting said he was often approached in the ‘80s by fans who proudly told him that they played “Every Breath You Take” at their wedding. His stock response became “Good luck to you, mate!”

-Ellen Fagan

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